my blame, my fault, me insane

insane for wanting to love-
it's not a real thing, love- at least the kind i'm searching for ...
so i blame me, for trying- i need to give up hope, and hope no more, and try no more - for i am dead to the world and to my girlfriends who cannot deal with my love! you know it's time to bawl again, soak my ears with tears again - for it's all my fault trying to love her - she's not interested, and i cannot afford it anymore, but she will remain my friend for evermore!