starved

don't care about eating, so done trying and praying, so done anymore with my sadness, giving up, mow the lawn then die, cry, exist, carry on until mom and dad go then i can ... there was not a planet earth 100 million years ago, maybe one million, but 100 million, i must laugh ...
only desperation gives me life - only hope kills me - God of all time send us mysterious love - i cannot stand this pain - i'm nothing to gain, and society and people prove it again and again ...